Buy It, Borrow It or Bag It: Love Times Three by The Darger Family

Love Times Three book cover     Don’t ask me what I was thinking reading a book on polygamy. After watching “Sister Wives” on my Amazon Prime app (hours I will NEVER reclaim) I read about this other polygamist family who was the model for HBOs “Big Love” and unlike Kodie and crew, seem to have a dab of sense.

I don’t know…I don’t like to pass judgement, but I don’t get it. For everything I should have enjoyed about this book, i.e. learning how an alternative family lives and operates…I didn’t. This wasn’t like watching the Dugger tribe manage five million children while living debt free…this is a group of people who raise their children communally, who pay their taxes, and who are committed to one another and yet, I still find it oddly selfish.

Make no mistake about it. I definitely liked this group more than the Browns of “Sister Wives” and while I would rather people commingle as a family rather than have baby daddies and baby mommies floating around…I’m still not convinced that polygamy works. It’s seems too hard, that only certain people (the women) have to compromise while the guy has a pretty good set up. I also think that (taking the issue of morality out of it…because I don’t do that here) the kids get the short end of the stick in this kind of family. No matter how hard I try, I can’t figure out how Dad has time to properly develop a relationship with his children when he has to juggle and balance three wives.

Not for me. Not sorry I read it, but glad I didn’t spend the money. Bag it.

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6 Comments

Filed under Buy It, Borrow It or Bag It

6 responses to “Buy It, Borrow It or Bag It: Love Times Three by The Darger Family

  1. It’s good to read books you don’t normally, even if they don’t suit. Gives you an idea of what is out there 😀 Great review and honest.

  2. Speaking as a guy, I don’t think the set up is all that sweet. Can you imagine having to settle dispute between various wives, or trying to earn enough to support the family.
    The set up would only be good in the eyes of a man who is selfish. A man who wants a good relationship with his children and wife (or wives) is not likely to seek out that many wives to begin with.
    Just a thought.

    • Personally, I agree with you. I think it would be way more trouble than it is worth, but I have to concede that this guy seems to think he gets something out of it. Heck no, I wouldn’t want to settle those kinds of disputes…I don’t enjoy settling a dispute with my DVR let alone contemplate dealing with three spouses. I just think about the kids and something makes me think that they get the short end of the stick. Sure, they have additional parents who love and care about them, and that’s great…but couldn’t they have that without polygamy? I personally had a lot of “mom” types I could turn to and yet…I didn’t have to bisect my time with my dad. Like I said in the review…I read it with an open mind and ruled it out for me. I probably could have said more, but I didn’t want anyone to think I was judging because my views on this really have nothing to do with spiritual matters. Rather, practicality. LOL Thanks for commenting! I appreciate it!

      • I have no real intention of speaking morally or spiritually either.
        I do think that if done right all that are involved can get something out of such a relationship. However, it is very difficult.
        I understand what you are saying about the children getting the short end, and I agree in many ways. But consider this: Would it be better for the children if the parents divorced and then remarried, thus splitting time even farther? I think that in a merely practical standpoint plural marriage if a far better choice than a broken family.

  3. That is exactly the challenge of it and what I eluded to in the beginning…I do think I would rather see the deliberate decision to live like this rather than a huge miss mosh of a blended family and no, you are right…I’m not sure I would want to see them forced apart legally whether by divorce or law, so to speak…unfortunately I know/understand very little of the FLDS doctrine to know exactly why they are called to this type of family…but maybe it’s something you have to have always experienced to “get”…ya know?

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